Friday, 19 August 2011

The Conspiracy Continues

Once again, events seemed to conspire against me, as they have done almost all week. This is easily the worst spell I've had with regards total all-red matches in a week. 4 more today and just one win. Only this time, I lost my full stake for the first time. I'd struggled each day to keep my discipline amidst all the horrendous luck and had taken 25% losses each and every time. But today, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I started with a win in the Sharapova game but the Murray, Nadal and Petkovic games did not fall my way, despite doing everything correctly. I was so pissed off at Nadia Petrova's inexplicably poor game, which came out of nowhere after several brilliant ones, that I could feel the frustration reach tipping point. I lost all discipline in the following game, used a terrible entry point and let it run till I had to take a 25% loss yet again. And that was it. The volcano erupted and I piled in on Roger Federer right then and there, with no intention of ever trading the match properly. I'm sure you're aware he lost, with a pitiful performance, to Berdych.

I'm not sure I can take much more of this. Right now, I could happily end this trading lark and never look back. I haven't got the patience required for this and I'm not sure that I ever will have. Even though I've waited longer and been more disciplined than I have in months, eventually, I always seem to snap and give up. I know things will turn soon but it might be too late by then. I'm not sure I can take much more of a battering to my ego. Gonna rest from the blogging for a while and see if I can get my head together for one last try. I'm writing this in the immediate aftermath of the Federer game, so maybe I'll feel better later. At the moment, I doubt it.

4 comments:

  1. Bad luck Sultan and I know how you feel. So far this is my worst month this year, ten fold!

    It's great that your cutting your losses now at your set percentage AND doing everything correct, so why do you think you still get so angry when things go against you? A common theme seems to be you pile in after a few loses which equals to chasing. Are you 100% reliant on your profits from trading? Is your bank something you can afford to lose?

    FPD plan looks to be working a treat but looks as if something is missing from that plan and that's your anger. As long as you are confident and have believe in your strategy long term, then you should be patting you self on the back for the improvements you have made via FPD. Forget the few bad days, weeks or even months. My own strategy can see a few losing months here and there and while it hurts, I hang in there knowing I will show a profit long term.

    There will always be bad runs and players not doing what they are 'suppose' to that will ruin the best of strategies short term, but that's something you have to accept. Extremely difficult I know, but its almost like you have to become a robot, void of all emotion in order to accept these bad runs. When I first started I would get extremely excited over big wins but equally angry over loses. I could often be heard screaming at the screen and at the end of the day would feel emotionally drained. Since then I've tried to learn to accept the loses by not getting so excited by the wins, trying to keep emotions on an equal level regardless. I like to think that if I met a friend now after trading, from my emotions they wouldn't be able to tell if I've had the best or worst day of trading ever.

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  2. Hi Jack, as usual, spot -on with your comments! The problem is, I know all of this and am experienced enough to get through this but in that moment, once the red-mist comes down, it's almost uncontrollable. I'd managed to suppress it for some of the week but today was one game too many.

    I now realise that I was not prepared for a week where the strategy might fail badly. I'm not used to it so have not responded to it as calmly as I should do. Just have to look at it as a lesson learnt.

    I think the main problem remains my patience. A few losses in a row don't bother me but any more than that and I start to get edgy and irritable until I snap. I'm not used to going 3 days with barely any wins, not when I'm doing the right things, so it was a new experience and I didn't know how to handle it. I need to work on suppressing that frustration and as you say, being more 'robotic'.

    Feel better this morning, have done a lot of thinking and am ready to move onwards.........

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  3. Good to hear your feeling better today, new day and all that :)

    It's understandable that things got out of control after the unexpected happened. At least now you are more prepared for when it happens again, which no doubt it will do.

    Best now to think about what you will do the next time it happens and plan for it. Think about worst case scenario, the unthinkable that surely can't happen. Imagine these things and think about what you will do when it actually does happens, and you will be better prepared for it.

    My worst case scenario is being on the wrong side of an injury without the chance to get out resulting in HUGE red. Hasn't happened yet but know it will do so like to think I am prepared. One way I've prepared is to keep note of all p/l resulting from injuries. So far I've been really lucky. I like to view this profit as a sort of buffer/injury kitty, so when that big hit comes I like to think it won't hurt as much.

    Good luck for today! I'm looking forward to next week off (its been a VERY long two weeks!).

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  4. It's really simple what I have to do next time - just remain patient! I was doing the right things, I just couldn't maintain it.

    At least you get a week off, I have to be straight back on the horse next week! I actually think it's a good idea this time though, a break isn't going to make any difference, I just need to get a few wins on the board.

    Enjoy your rest!

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